Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
