dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
