Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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