I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
