is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
