No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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