He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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