put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
