Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
