i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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