so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
