Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
