kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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