honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
