Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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