i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
