If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
