Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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