Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize