Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
