So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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