we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
