Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This house was built for laser tag.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
