I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
