Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
