We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
