Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
where am i from again
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize