I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
