Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize