Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
this hospital has no fireball
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
