how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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