Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
