he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
