just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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