Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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