ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
