Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
