i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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