HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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