Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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