she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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