Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize