She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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