I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
