We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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