Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
