How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
