On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
