I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
