My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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