You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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