Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
