Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
