im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize