it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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