i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
