Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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