Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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